I've been on a team training trip for Spring Break the last two weeks. Sometimes, it is better than it sounds, but most of the time it's pretty great in that we a) get to be out of the cold, and b) focus on only rowing without t
he distraction of having to work around classes. In general, everyone is more relaxed, coaches and athletes alike, and we can really get down to rowing.
On a trip like this, there is some forced downtime between practices, and the days tend to run into and over one another. Saturdays and Sundays are just like any weekday, and none of the weekdays are distinguishable from one another either. With as much internal focus as I could muster, I forced myself to remember my sister's birthday as well as the anniversary of Max acquiring us as his humans. I thought I had all the major dates covered, so I was a little surprised to see a Happy Anniversary cupcake in my inbox one day. "We hope it was a great year and look forward to sharing many more." It turns out, I hadn't really missed anything - it was congratulations on the one year anniversary of my first attempt at this blog. Although my first post here wasn't until March 30, I had set up another account before that.
Confirming that date for myself meant going back to read that first post. I had to stop before the first paragraph. Having just made it through all the one-year-ago-todays - that week of appointments finding and biopsying the lump, the confirmation of cancer, and the medical team meeting during spring break 2014, and all overlapping with the one year out follow up appointments left me a little more worn thin than I expected.
As squirmy as it made me to reread part of it, I'm still glad I did it, and I'm even more impressed that others followed so closely. For me, keeping this journal has been a tremendous help and source of control. (Thank you GM for the recommendation!) The amount of introspection required to write a post keeps me centered and on track. I highly recommend some similar form of a journal of what's going on should you find yourself in similar shoes. Aside from keeping folks up to date, it allows me to get things off my chest, and to clear my brain of dwelling on the negatives as much.